Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Now We Have Everything

Dear Baby Bear,

At some point, Mama should probably write a note about your birth - it was quite the adventure in many unexpected ways. But right now, with your warm body in my arms, all I want to do is smell your skin and tell you how much I love you. Baby Bear, the past week with you in my life has been the most beautiful gift I could ever dream of. In all these years and months of waiting for you and loving you, I could never have imagined this. This deep love, down in the center of my being. When you cry my Baby, I feel it in my bones, it hurts me. When I walk into a room without you, the whole world seems empty. How, my Baby Love, did I ever live without you?

You, Baby Bear, are the most perfect blessing of a baby. You move in the most adorable ways, your Daddy and I could just sit and watch you for hours. You stretch your little arms and wrinkle your face and our hearts light up. I love the way your eyes open wide when you hear bird calls and you turn towards the sound and listen in complete stillness. I love the way you grasp Daddy's finger when he is cuddling with you, and sometimes you shove it into your mouth. I love when you finish eating and you slip into a food coma and slide off my breast, you lay on my belly with your own belly full and complete contenment on your face.

Baby Bear, I love the small traditions we have already created as a family. Last night we all took a bath together - your first real bath because your umbilical cord had just fallen off. We snuggled, you ate in the bath, we washed you and splashed a bit. It was so sweet. In the mornings, we sing our own little version of Modei Ani - I am Grateful - and sing about the things we are grateful for in the morning. Then Mama gets up and takes care of herself while you nap with your Daddy. It was so meaningful for us when we got to light three candles to welcome in Shabbat this week. For the past month we have been wondering when that week would come, and here it is - Baby Bear, you have made us a family.

I am overwhelmed with love for you, little one,

Your Mama

Friday, May 16, 2014

An Invitation

Dear Sesame Seed,

The day of your birth is drawing so close. Every single night I go to bed thinking, maybe tonight I will wake up in labor? And every morning I wake up thinking, maybe today will be your birth-day? Your Daddy and I keep on talking to you, telling you how excited we are for you to be here. We've been telling you about all the exciting plans we make and how we want you to join us for them. We've been telling you about all the ways we can show you our love when you are on the outside. Of course, we know you will choose the right time for your birth. It's your call, my Baby, but we are ever so anxious to meet you.

Everyone else, everyone who already loves you, is also excited and anxious. So many people are sending you love and strength for the big adventure we have ahead of us. And it will be quite and adventure! I want you to know, my Baby, that we are partners for this big day to come. It might be a little scary, and it is certain to be hard, but Baby, we are going to work together. I already see how strong you are, from the way you kick and move about, and I know your strength will help me. I want you to know that I am strong too. My desire to hold you in my arms will guide me to bring you into the world, and I would do anything to bring us together. If it's scary for you, as you push through the birth canal, as you enter a world of brights lights and harsh noises, know that your Daddy and I are here, on the other side, waiting to bring you comfort. We will hold you tight, we will sing to you softly, and we will make sure you know how much you are loved.

Sweet One, you are everything I've ever wanted. I cannot wait to kiss your sweet face, to breathe your smell, and to share with you all the love I have to give. Please, my Baby Love, come to us soon.

I already love you, little one,

Your Mama