Dear Sesame Seed,
I have been doing less writing to you and more preparing for your arrival recently. Actively doing things to get ready for you is not strictly necessary, but it helps Daddy and I to get our minds in the right place. I can't wait to share all the projects I have been making for you! So far, I have one quilt and one blanket for you, plus an almost finished quilt. I would never have believed I could make all that before I had such a good reason to try. I have also made a bunch of baby wipes, a couple of fabric boxes to hold your stuff and have attempted, but have not yet been successful, to start making you some clothing. Daddy has made you two wonderful stuffed animals. He told you about Izzy already. The other one is Sleepy Snake, anyone who sees him can't help but cuddle up against him and get cozy. He is like a baby-sized body pillow.
Besides for crafts, we've also been doing a lot of reading, researching and learning about various decisions we will eventually need to make. We have started to try to find you a doctor, we met with one so far. We are thinking about making our house safer for you, and about all the fun things we will do once you are here.
The other day we had our first really warm day. It felt like spring, and your arrival seemed so close because I have been saying you are due in the spring for so long. I took out a blanket and lay on the grass in the sun reading and day dreaming for a while. I think that every time I've done that, for the past maybe ten years, I have wished for a baby who would lay next to me. Who would look up at me and call me Mama. Now, that is so close. Baby, have I told you yet how grateful I am for you? I am overwhelmed by how beautiful our life is right now, and how wonderful it is going to be. When we lie in bed, just Daddy, me and you in my belly, the world is so prefect, so right.
Baby, this pregnancy has gotten physically harder for me in the last few weeks. I get very little sleep and sometimes I feel delirious with tiredness. A lot of my body hurts, and sometimes I get so frustrated. But Baby, you are such a gift. Even while I hurt, even if I say I can't handle it, Baby Dearest, you are everything I have ever dreamed of. And I can't wait to hold you in my arms.
I already love you, little one,